


I wasn't a hero

by rinaichan, ToDragons



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers Family, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Crying, Endgame, Family, Hurt, Memories, RIP, Spoilers, Suffering, You can rest now, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-28 04:35:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18749125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinaichan/pseuds/rinaichan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToDragons/pseuds/ToDragons
Summary: What do you see before you die?Just my thoughts after watching Avengers - Endgame.I made my roommate cry with this, and convinced her to help me.





	I wasn't a hero

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to ToDragons for the help and beta reading (and for your tears bruw C: <3)!

They said that I was the most selfish man in the whole world. I’m not saying that they were right, but they were not wrong either. Why? Probably, because I was too proud of myself, my brain and the things what I have built. I was sarcastic all the time and I was a pain in other’s ass. I made jokes in serious situations and always had my own ways to deal with things. 

 

But still; nobody ever talked about what happened, after Romanoff lied to me. Who was the one, who didn’t let the nuclear bomb blow New York or what I did after Wanda tried to kill me. Never mentioned how I tried to help the Winter Soldier after he attacked us. Not a single word on how I tried to still help Rogers after he betrayed the whole team and left!

 

I was the one, who forgave Natasha and the one who didn’t let the bomb destroy the city. I built the Avengers Tower and gave Wanda and the whole team a place to live. It was my idea to keep Bucky in America and not to give him away to Wakandan prison, I even went after them to help, when nobody wanted to go.

 

I tried to save the world, I tried to make it a better place, but when anything went wrong they alway pointed at me: “It was your fault! We blame you!” 

 

And you know what?

 

It’s okay. I don’t blame any of them; in a different tone of light I would probably do the same thing. I know, that they needed someone, who will take the responsibility, and I was the perfect person for that. I had the fame, the money, and the contacts to get away with it. After everything we have been through together, it was painful sometimes. By the end I even got used to the way everybody was thinking about me, the way they saw me.

 

They say, when you’re dying, your life flashes before your eyes. It happened to me too, do you want to know what I saw?

 

I remembered every single smile and touch, and all the happy moments together. I saw, when my father gave a short, but warm hug to my mother. I even felt the gentle kiss on my cheek as my mom wished me good luck for the university. I always felt that my father was pretty cold to me, but now I knew that he was proud of me, and loved me.

 

I remember that the first time I met him, I didn’t understand why my father admired him so much. If I wanted to be honest, I needed to admit that first I just wanted to win, but during our time side by side, a friendship developed between us. Even though we had arguments and fights, I remember how I saw those strong shoulders, which tried to protect everyone, including me. I’ve never told him, that he was my hero too. Thinking back now, I need to admit, that he really had America’s greatest ass.

 

I remembered how a team formed in front of us. First we were a bunch of ridiculous kids, scared of their own shadows, but with time, we learnt how to work together. I don’t want to show off, but we even saved countries and the Earth a few times. It was interesting to watch that we were actually good at it. I have never thought that they will become the family I always wanted.

 

I remembered, how excited he was, when we first met; he asked about my car. I’ve never wanted to be a father, but he somehow grew on me. I soon realized that I wanted to protect him even if that meant to act like my own father used to. When he disappeared I felt like I lost my own son. I remembered the happiest face in front of me and the warmth of his hug when we met again. I heard his voice and I knew that, he’s okay. Now I know that I really should have told him how proud I was of him.

 

I remembered the time, when she told me that she was pregnant. Even I knew how dumb I looked with a gaping mouth and eyes wide open. I could still recall the road to the hospital. I was so terrified, my hands shook on the wheel. I remembered to the voice of a crying baby, and I remembered as I saw a smile. The most beautiful smile in the world. I saw her, while she carried the most gorgeous girl in her arms. She was so tiny, I was afraid, I will crush her, but I got used to it pretty well. But now, I will never see her grow up.

 

After everything I have been through, those bad memories, the pain and the loss feels so far away now. At the moment I can only see a team, my family who tried to do everything to save our planet and the whole universe. They fought together and protected each other. I can’t tell how proud I am of them, because they did it. 

 

The biggest war was over now. 

 

“We won!” I hear their voice.  
“We won, Mr.Stark,” comes a soft, cracking whisper, what tries to keep me alive. I want to find out who it belongs to, but I can’t. I can’t hear clearly anymore because everything is getting darker. I’m feeling weaker and weaker every second, I’m cold and I’m alone. I slowly close my eyes as I hear a whisper.  
“We will be alright. You can rest now…”

 

Yes, rest.

 

A nap will be nice, I don’t know when was the last time, I had a good night’s sleep. It’s probably my time to relax now.

 

Before I became who I am now, I thought that I was a big and important man, but after I met these fighters, gods and true heroes, I needed to realize, that I’m nothing compared to them.

 

I wasn’t a hero. I wasn’t a savior.

 

I was just a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.

 

I was Iron Man.

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on [tumblr](https://kry-arc.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and cried a lot! :3


End file.
